The world
lost a brave and brilliant light today. I lost a mentor who never knew what she
meant to me, or to countless others who found inspiration, understanding, and strength
in her words.
Maya Angelou
is dead.
I saw the
news as I checked social media after dropping the boys off at school. I softly
said, “Oh, no!” as tears rolled down my cheek.
I watched the boys walk into class. I wondered if they realized the
importance of this day, and the woman for whom I cried. Maya Angelou is gone.
The world is
a dramatically different place than it was in the late 60’s when I was a young
child. Civil rights, race riots, and
marches for racial equality in the US are thankfully a thing of the past. My 7
year old twin boys can’t fathom a world where people would be made to use
separate bathrooms, or eat in different places based on the color of their
skin. We talk now about the importance of not treating people differently based
on who they choose to love. I hope soon this too
will be a strange memory of a time long gone by. But today, I’m reminded of that time, and of
being an often frightened little girl in a large, often strange world.
I felt very “other”
growing up. I know that’s not particularly uncommon, but the depths and length
of the disconnection was, upon reflection, longer and deeper than most
experience. I spent a lot of time paralyzed by fear, wanting to do
things, say things, experience things I knew would be deemed bad, evil,
hateful, devil-inspired by those around me.
So, I sat in silence, usually with my nose in a book, finding community
and a sense of understanding in the words and stories of others. Maya Angelou was one of these people for me.
Maya knew
what it was like to experience fear, sorrow and loss, in ways much more
profound than I’d experienced, and yet, she rose above it. She overcame the horror, and soared above
it. She showed me a world where you can
conquer the fear that keeps you bound, and unleash your soul to its rightful
place in the clouds where it can fly and sing.
Over the
years, when I was sad, or wondering how I could keep going after a setback, I
returned to her words. She inspired me
to keep striving, keep going, keep overcoming.
She did it, and so could I.
One of my favorite books is a copy of her
poem “Life Doesn’t Frighten Me” beautifully illustrated with paintings by
Jean-Michel Basquiat. I pick it up every so often and read through the poem I
know so well. It’s not one of her best known works, but it’s classic Maya Angelou. It’s about not giving into your fear, but
looking it square in the eye, and taking its power away by confronting it.
I will
always carry her words in my heart, in fact many of them are etched on my soul, and
have helped me when times were darkest.
Rest well, sweet Maya. The world
grieves. I grieve. But we will keep going, keep overcoming, keep making the
world better, just as you taught us to do. Life really doesn't frighten me
anymore.
Life Doesn't Frighten Me
By Maya
Angelou
Shadows on the wall
Noises
down the hall
Life
doesn't frighten me at all
Bad
dogs barking loud
Big
ghosts in a cloud
Life
doesn't frighten me at all
Mean
old Mother Goose
Lions
on the loose
They
don't frighten me at all
Dragons
breathing flame
On my
counterpane
That
doesn't frighten me at all.
I go
boo
Make
them shoo
I make
fun
Way
they run
I
won't cry
So
they fly
I just
smile
They
go wild
Life
doesn't frighten me at all.
Tough
guys fight
All
alone at night
Life
doesn't frighten me at all.
Panthers
in the park
Strangers
in the dark
No,
they don't frighten me at all.
That
new classroom where
Boys
all pull my hair
(Kissy
little girls
With
their hair in curls)
They
don't frighten me at all.
Don't
show me frogs and snakes
And
listen for my scream,
If I'm
afraid at all
It's
only in my dreams.
I've
got a magic charm
That I
keep up my sleeve
I can
walk the ocean floor
And
never have to breathe.
Life
doesn't frighten me at all
Not at
all
Not at
all.
Life
doesn't frighten me at all.
